01/04/17
fRANKIE,
i CAN'T. i CAN'T. tHIS WORLD IS SO FUCKE3D UP. THE TORTURE OF POOR DEFENSELESS CHILDREN, ANIMALS, EACH OTHER. THE ISIS MONSTERS TAKE PLEASURE IN PAIN, AND A rELIGION THAT PREACHES TO KILL IN SUBTLE SUBTLE WAYS....PLEASE pLEASE i DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ANYMORE. iTS TOO BIG. iTS TOO SAD AND BRUTAL, AND TOO BROKEN
Memories and thoughts of our son...our best friend.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
12/28/16
Christmas is nothing with out you here. We didnt get to see Jackie. But, we will have a little Christmas with him in January. Your Pops had videos sent to him from "Santa". They are so real, and he calls them by name...pretty awesome. We have the special magical present ready for him, behind the tree, that we "know nothing" about...
We are sharing the magic with him. You see it, I know. And, I love him with all my heart, Frankie. He is the one thing that keeps me going. I just want to find you. If there is nothing out there, and nothing left of you...so be it....at least I wont feel this pain anymore. And, if there is, then...Hallelujah! I get to see my most loved being in the universe. I miss your hugs, your laugh, your anger, your everything, my son. I feel like a hollow shell. I hate this world. I hate it. I feel nothing is ahead for me. What is there? Why am I still here? I am finished with my life. Let death come and find me, because I want to be with my son again. Pops will come and then we will one by one, by one be together again. I cant stand the pain. Its too fucking big, Frankie. Please
Christmas is nothing with out you here. We didnt get to see Jackie. But, we will have a little Christmas with him in January. Your Pops had videos sent to him from "Santa". They are so real, and he calls them by name...pretty awesome. We have the special magical present ready for him, behind the tree, that we "know nothing" about...
We are sharing the magic with him. You see it, I know. And, I love him with all my heart, Frankie. He is the one thing that keeps me going. I just want to find you. If there is nothing out there, and nothing left of you...so be it....at least I wont feel this pain anymore. And, if there is, then...Hallelujah! I get to see my most loved being in the universe. I miss your hugs, your laugh, your anger, your everything, my son. I feel like a hollow shell. I hate this world. I hate it. I feel nothing is ahead for me. What is there? Why am I still here? I am finished with my life. Let death come and find me, because I want to be with my son again. Pops will come and then we will one by one, by one be together again. I cant stand the pain. Its too fucking big, Frankie. Please
Friday, December 2, 2016
12/2/16
I know I said he was nice, and that you would actually like him. But, I am still so angry at the situation. I know that people have to move on. I know thats what would be said to me if I verbalized this. But, you had no chance to move on. You had no MOTHER FUCKING SECOND CHANCE!!!!!! I HATE EVERYONE, I cannot express how much RAGE I feel at this MOTHER FUCKING SHALLOW< CLUELESS WORLD!!!!!! FRANKIE! WHY? WHY couldnt YOU have had a second chance?!?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE LIKE THAT? TELL ME?!? I CALL BULLSHIT!!!!!!! I call bullshit....
MOTHERFUCKINGBULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
I am so sad for you.
You did not deserve to DIE so young, and so painFULLY, and so fearFILLED!
I FUCKING HATE GOD and THE WHOLE FUCKING WAY of THINGS! EVERYONE can go FUCK theSELVES when they whine and cry about their little problems. I FUCKING HATE, hate, HATE, hAte, HATE this world. Fucking HATE IT!
I love you
I know I said he was nice, and that you would actually like him. But, I am still so angry at the situation. I know that people have to move on. I know thats what would be said to me if I verbalized this. But, you had no chance to move on. You had no MOTHER FUCKING SECOND CHANCE!!!!!! I HATE EVERYONE, I cannot express how much RAGE I feel at this MOTHER FUCKING SHALLOW< CLUELESS WORLD!!!!!! FRANKIE! WHY? WHY couldnt YOU have had a second chance?!?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE LIKE THAT? TELL ME?!? I CALL BULLSHIT!!!!!!! I call bullshit....
MOTHERFUCKINGBULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
I am so sad for you.
You did not deserve to DIE so young, and so painFULLY, and so fearFILLED!
I FUCKING HATE GOD and THE WHOLE FUCKING WAY of THINGS! EVERYONE can go FUCK theSELVES when they whine and cry about their little problems. I FUCKING HATE, hate, HATE, hAte, HATE this world. Fucking HATE IT!
I love you
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
11/16/16
I didnt even write to you yesterday....It marked three years since you passed away. Its still too bizarre to believe. You were just here....a minute ago. I can still smell you, hear you, and see you.....Oh, Frankie, it seems like Griffin might not be too far behind you. Please, please, please find him when he comes, and help him remember that we did not abandon him to that emergency hospital. I am going to visit him again tonight. I want to take him home. They are going to do a sonogram on his tummy and heart. Sugar levels are normal on the drip, but they suspect other issues. If the results are traumatic. I am going to take him home, and let him be with us, pain medication, whatever...he needs to come home. I miss you Frankie. I miss you with all I have in me. I
I didnt even write to you yesterday....It marked three years since you passed away. Its still too bizarre to believe. You were just here....a minute ago. I can still smell you, hear you, and see you.....Oh, Frankie, it seems like Griffin might not be too far behind you. Please, please, please find him when he comes, and help him remember that we did not abandon him to that emergency hospital. I am going to visit him again tonight. I want to take him home. They are going to do a sonogram on his tummy and heart. Sugar levels are normal on the drip, but they suspect other issues. If the results are traumatic. I am going to take him home, and let him be with us, pain medication, whatever...he needs to come home. I miss you Frankie. I miss you with all I have in me. I
Monday, November 7, 2016
11/7/16
So, now you have a new compadre up there in the cosmos......Do you know when people are going to pass? Did you help Rachel make contact with her parents last night? Because that was the most awesome gift they could get right now. I am betting that you had a helping hand in it, my little Techie! Thank you Frankie and Rachel, you know how happy you made them. They need these things like monkey bars to hold on to, while they cross through this nightmare. I love you all, and I think about you so so much.....Frankie, I know your chakra stones will help Rays boyfriend. And, it was so instinctual, that I also know you were there. I love you my one and only son....always, always, always....Keep a spot open for me & Pops......Mamadukes
So, now you have a new compadre up there in the cosmos......Do you know when people are going to pass? Did you help Rachel make contact with her parents last night? Because that was the most awesome gift they could get right now. I am betting that you had a helping hand in it, my little Techie! Thank you Frankie and Rachel, you know how happy you made them. They need these things like monkey bars to hold on to, while they cross through this nightmare. I love you all, and I think about you so so much.....Frankie, I know your chakra stones will help Rays boyfriend. And, it was so instinctual, that I also know you were there. I love you my one and only son....always, always, always....Keep a spot open for me & Pops......Mamadukes
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