Frankie.
How can it be that two years have passed since your soul left this world? It seems like yesterday, yet it has been an eternity. Everyday is an agonizing voyage, soothed only by sleep. And even sleep does not come easy. I thought I have had a broken heart before, but no. Those were bruises compared to the pain, real pain that lives in my chest. Ever minute, I say, "I can't, I cannot DO this..." Yet, somehow, I keep moving, the world keeps spinning, and you are not part of the spin anymore. I try to tell myself that you are safe now, free from any harm. Then, I think, "is he?" How do we know? I dream that you are screaming to me from another dimension. That you are scare, and in pain! And, I keep trudging along in this world, with my head down and my ears closed to the voice that I love so dearly. I hope that its not true. I hope, also, that there is not just...nothingness. To think that there is nothing, fills me with a morbid desperation. Please let it not be so. Please. I cant bear the thought of never meeting your soul again.
I curse "god". Even though I say there is no god. I curse him with "FUCK YOU'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!". If he was real, I would KILL him....
I know how crazy I must sound. I am.
I live for the day when I can die, and find you again. I love you, my son. Forever and always.
Memories and thoughts of our son...our best friend.
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