Memories of our son Frank Ruiz Jr

I was making the bed, crying this morning. I was thinking of you, and how many more years of beds I would make in my lifetime. How many more years will we live without you. Will you fade from our minds and hearts like an old photo? i can't bear the thought of you being gone that long from me....I don't know exactly how to explain this awful feeling of getting farther away in time from you. My son, my son, my son...I want the world to have known you longer, and you the world....

I wanted people to see you become the man you were meant to be, the father, and the friend. You were so loved, and loving, and good. But I know you were evolving, I could see you "becoming". Why did you have to go so young?!? Why? Why? I miss your laugh, I miss your jibes. I miss you, even when you were being "Cranky Frankie". I still smell the shirts hanging on the back of your door. But, your smell is fading, and that scares me more than anything. I can't explain these horrible fears and sadness. I just want to get to you. I don't know if you are floating out in the universe, or sitting on the right hand side of Buddha, or God, or a highly evolved Alien....I miss you son of mine. You shine in my soul, and I will never stop missing you or loving you, or remembering you. -Momz