My beautiful boys....

Its only me out here talking to myself and you. Posting things that people have said.
This world sucks without you. It will always suck, and I have so much hate and anger inside of me, that I am amazed at some of the hateful things I can think........I will never get over this.

I heard your voice on a short video with Jackie. And, it was like water to my parched soul. It was comforting, and heartbreaking. Sorry to sound so melodramatic, but thats exactly what it is.....My life is gone, and this new one is an uglier, sadder, and pointless place. I know I am lucky to be so loved by my family, but I only want to be with you. I am not afraid to die anymore. I will not do anything to speed up the process, but when it happens, I will be happy again. I could tear the hair from my head, and peel my own skin off, and it would be less painful than the loss of you. I honestly dont know if I can make it, but I am trying. I put my game face on, and on I go. No one knows the gut wrentching truth. The agony, the sorrow, the screaming, and name calling I hurl towards a God that does not exist for me anymore. Any God that would let this happen is a Cock sucking Cunt, and let him strike me dead, because.....see? I am still here, so I have to hope with all my might that there is an energy of some sort that is higher and too complicated for us to understand. And, all I hope for is that within that energy, I will be able to see you again in another space and form. But, that I will know you by the love. Please, let it be so.

He was special, Lynn! He really made me feel welcome when I joined the 14th. I will always remember my first Rem day when he saved me from the annoying drunk by telling him I was engaged to Mark!!! That was the start of an amazing friendship, and I always have thought of you & Frank & Frankie as family. I loved to speak about history with him and I always enjoyed the quirky things we would talk about. Thanks for saying what you did...it means a lot!!!

Hope you are doing better...I know he's looking out for both you and Frank and little Jack too!! Looking forward to seeing you!!!!!

Love,

Robin

I am having a day filled with tears, and regrets. I am angry and sad....I love you so much Frankie, and looking at your picture on here just compounds the bizarre reality that you are no longer here with us. I HATE it, and I curse the Universe for taking you from us. In the next moment I thank the Cosmos that we had you, and knew you, and made so many AWESOME memories with you. We shared hard times with you, and you always rose to the challenge. We were INVINCIBLE when we were all together. And, our spirits are still connected, so I have to remember that. And, channel it, and we can still be the three musketeers, eternally.
Frankie, you were my wonderful little boy. A gift that we were so proud and lucky to have been given. You will always be with us. With my last breath, your name, and Pops name will be the last words on my lips.......I cant wait to see you again, my Frankie Boy.....
Eternal Love,
Mama

Hi Frank,

Just checking in on you. I have not spoke to you since the funeral. Hope you and the family are doing ok and just to let you know Frank Jr. spirit lives on. We were telling jokes about him last week down here at cage he continues to make us smile.

God Bless from one Dad to the Dad to next.

Presnell

We saw Jeffrey Wands Saturday Night. Thank you for coming through and letting us know you were ok. I am so happy you are hanging with Grampa....Love you my son. Miss you madly.....

I remember your big ole BEAR HUGS......
I miss you, my son.
Terribly. 
You were the best son we could have ever asked for.
Please keep your Dad safe and sane,  he is missing you with everything he has.
We will always remember you, and remember FOR you.
Your son will know you through all of us....I promise.
And, dont forget to save a place for us at the table up there......
I love you, my handsome boy.....
Mama Bear

From Aunt Lilly on March 21, 2014:

 I slept so well last night and dreamed of Frankie. REally weird stuff.
He told me that Diego was coming (Jesse's dog) to see Gulliver and he
showed me something. He said "reminding" It was a scenario of me as a
young boy, maybe 3 years old with dark hair. I was afraid of the
man/woman taking care of me. He/she slammed my head against a table
and killed me. WTF? He ran his hand over my head and said it's all
part of it, Aunt Lilly. Weird, weird shit. I left my phone in the den,
so nothing woke me up, but I wonder if we don't all have those dreams
and don't remember them cos we sleep so poorly.

I love you.

Please see our submission for the memorial service for the NY Organ Donor Program for 2014.

Thank you so very much! We look forward to being there!

Frank Joseph Ruiz, Jr.

Our son, fierce and eternal.

Bursting with Light and Life.

Big Bear of a man. Teddy Bear heart.

In Life, and Death.

Gave with love.

Lynn E. Ruiz

Frankie and Jack communing with the Hens.....

 

To Ruiz Family,

Frank Jr and Senior are more than co-workers they are like family. Frankie has a sense of humor that simply put as “awesome”. Within the first 2 minutes of meeting Frankie for the first time, I knew he was a cool and down to earth person. Frankie and I played pranks in the office every day and especially Fridays when he came to the hangar. We had a nick name on Fridays called “ F it Friday”. Jack when you get older I’m sure Senior will explain what that meant. Your dad and I would prank every and anybody no matter title. First by making spit balls, paper airplanes flying over ones head while working, prank calls to different JetBlue cities and much more interesting activities depending on the day and attendance. We laugh so hard every day we work together, and we always enjoyed on looking forward to the next day to meeting up to catch up whether it was in break room, lunch or outside. Frankie and I were big into cars as Senior can tell you. I remember him always thinking and talking about what to modify next. When he placed the roof rack on the VW it was awesome because he placed stickers all over and each stickers painted a story about him and his family. Not sure how many people knew that. After Frankie had Jack his world changed, the car conversation quickly came to yield as he spoke highly of Jack and Llana. He used to tell me how you Jack were all that matter, and he could not wait for my wife Sally and I to have a kid to create play dates. Junior was big into reenactment. He had stories for days and was always an enthusiast. He spoke about sleeping on the cold floor, riding horses and the intense loud battles. When Frankie came in on Mondays with no voice we knew what he did the weekend. I always told Frankie he should be a College Historian. My wife Sally, brother Khris knew Frankie, and within the short time they got to know each other they clicked right away. Frankie has a loveable sense of humor that everyone just falls for.

Jack your dad loved you and on November 13, 2013 he text me with a picture of you holding the Kangaroo that Sally and I got you. We spoke for about 30 minutes via text, he was saying how much he enjoyed being home with you and your mom. It pains me knowing we will never hear his voice again but Frankie my brother you will be missed and I know you are looking down on us all. I miss him very much and love the man he grew into.

God Bless,

Ryan Persaud

                                                  This one picture says it all.
                                                         This is our Frankie.....

Jack Aiden Ruiz
He will always know you and remember you through our stories and love.
I know you will be at his side wherever he goes.....

This is a song....and its beautifully succinct in how we feel. Life will never be the same after losing you Frankie. We are not whole anymore, and never will be. I will mourn for you until I see you in the Cosmos. Only you know the loss and darkness we walk through every minute of everyday. I hope you are happy and whole up there with the stars. I love you sonny boy.....eternally....
MamaDukes

How We Survive

© Mark Rickerby

If we are fortunate,
we are given a warning.

If not,
there is only the sudden horror,
the wrench of being torn apart;
of being reminded
that nothing is permanent,
not even the ones we love,
the ones our lives revolve around.

Life is a fragile affair.
We are all dancing
on the edge of a precipice,
a dizzying cliff so high
we can't see the bottom.

One by one,
we lose those we love most
into the dark ravine.

So we must cherish them
without reservation.
Now.
Today.
This minute.
We will lose them
or they will lose us
someday.
This is certain.
There is no time for bickering.
And their loss
will leave a great pit in our hearts;
a pit we struggle to avoid
during the day
and fall into at night.

Some,
unable to accept this loss,
unable to determine
the worth of life without them,
jump into that black pit
spiritually or physically,
hoping to find them there.

And some survive
the shock,
the denial,
the horror,
the bargaining,
the barren, empty aching,
the unanswered prayers,
the sleepless nights
when their breath is crushed
under the weight of silence
and all that it means.

Somehow, some survive all that and,
like a flower opening after a storm,
they slowly begin to remember
the one they lost
in a different way...

The laughter,
the irrepressible spirit,
the generous heart,
the way their smile made them feel,

And in time, they fill the pit
with other memories
the only memories that really matter.

We will still cry.
We will always cry.
But with loving reflection
more than hopeless longing.

And that is how we survive.
That is how the story should end.
That is how they would want it to be.