Friday, June 27, 2014

Hit by the sadness wave...again!!

Today it seems that the wave of sadness has hit the beach and pulled me out with it. In fact the past few days have been that way. I was just telling Mom that I feel like I want to spend the weekend drunk, crying, angry, hitting and breaking things , etc. We all know that I won't tho. don't we!
Thanks for slamming the bedroom door the other night when Mom and I were lying in bed talking about you. It scared the shit out of me, but also made me laugh.
Your son is something else...just like his Dad!
Fridays are tough...for all of us!
Love you kid

Pops
xxooxxoo

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

You can't be gone. I still hear your voice in the house. I hear you coming down the steps. I hear your laugh.

Monday, June 16, 2014

My son. You were so very very very missed yesterday on Fathers Day. Your Dad is heartbroken, and days like that even more so.....You have some wonderful friends who made him feel so loved on a day that was yours and his. We miss you with everything we have. I love you more than words could ever convey. My sonny boy. My Frankie boy....

Thursday, June 12, 2014


From: Lilly Baird [mailto:lilypad1957@gmail.com]
Sent: Monday, March 10, 2014 1:54 PM
To: Lynn Ruiz
Subject: Re: Emailing: jaguar-04

 

He's beautiful. I had a dream last night where you were hiding under your bed and nobody could get you out. Then Frankie came into your room, kneeled down and gave you his hand to grab. He said cmon mom and out came your hand.

I miss you something fierce today. It always seems to happen that when something good happens, like yesterday and Saturday night….the next few days I go downhill from the happiness of the possibility that you are “with”  us…….

 Yesterday, you were all around me while I was at the gym. I could “feel” you moving all around me….When I think of it now, it was like you used to tease me when I worked out. You remember…you would come in and do your “And, ONE and TWO, and THREE!....” And imitate my moves, until I made you leave….you were so cute, Frankie…..

But, that’s the first time I have really felt you were with me……It was mesmerizing. I shut my eyes on the stationary bike and kept pedaling and felt your energy……

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Fathers Day is this coming Sunday. The first one since you have been gone. I hope with all my heart that you can give your Pops a sign to help him through the day....He misses you profoundly. We are not the same without you. The joy has left our lives. True that Jackie is a blessing, but we miss our son, our comrade, our boy.....I love you so very much sweetie.

Please be with Ilana and Pops if you can.....their sorrow is deep and wide.

You are so missed, Frankie...

Happy Fathers Day to you, baby. You were a phenomenal father. It was a great loss to your son, for the man he will never know. Never learn all those wonderful things that only you could have taught him. Sure, he will learn everything he needs to learn. But your special "take" on life, your passion, and your sense of humor will be missed out on by him. Our stories can help, videos, etc. But, he will most of all miss out on the intense love you had for him. It hurts my heart right now how it was to watch you with him, and the way your face was so full of joy and love for him.....A great and horrible loss.....

I love you with my whole heart and soul.
And, look for you everyday, everywhere.
Even knowing you are gone, I believe I can find you still....
Eternal love, my Frankie.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Frankie,
We went to Camp Geiger this past weekend. If you only knew how many people loved and respected you. The memorial was so moving. Andrew Beard wept through the entire service. He sang through tears along from the ranks when Rich sang The Minstrel Boy....
Later, after the service, he cried so hard on Robins shoulder, he snotted up her shawl...It was so sad and cute at the same time. He really loved you, as did so many....
I was told later that there was not a dry eye in the ranks. The Chaplain spoke, and a few men spoke.....beautiful words. Your Dad spoke eloquently, and your Jackie Boy came up behind him and stood there a little to his left during his speech. Your Pops didnt know he was there. Then he walked back to us behind Pops. It was like you were there, through Jackie.
They dubbed the trenched "Fort Ruiz", and presented us with a sign, which I will post. Your trench digs were left empty in honor of you.
So many people loved/love you Frankie. You were a mentor to so many up and coming kids, older newbies, and just anyone who needed help.....Your little bits of encouragement during all those years, a pat on the back, a smile, and an "ATTABOY" were all mentioned over and over by people who came by to see us during the weekend. Your tireless work to help the UV become realized was a topic that was repeated again and again. There were funny stories about your antics, and shenanigans! It all made me proud of and amazed at you! I always told you how proud you made us, but THIS! This was over the top, and we can only say how this just confirmed what we ALREADY KNEW you were made of.....Huzzah, my son...Huzzah!
I love you to the Moon and Back.
Mama
Lynn, Frank, Ilana and Jack,
My Grandmother wrote this poem while she was dying of cancer. She lost a son to Polio at age 20 in 1950. She wrote this about the loss of her precious son. I only thought it was fitting to share this with you.
All my love.
Jay
"God gives an extra blessing to the loved one, whose loved ones trust when his young work is done.
That he is safe in hands unmatched on earth, that death is a reward, a second birth.
And all the things he wanted yesterday
Are his Today a thousandfold: and say
That you believe that he still lives
God never takes away the life he gives".